I am sorting this out.
Being alone for the first time in a while is interesting.
I am really trying to be healthy. I have a lot of goals and am (somewhat) keeping up with a to-do list.
I am trying to be less negative. I know that my friends are not perfect. However, I also want to be more honest with them- if I am upset, they should know, just as I would want them to let me know if I did something to offend them. I need to be more direct and less vague or wishy-washy.
I am going to try to focus more. I hope medication helps. I am such a purist when it comes to regular drug intake but I am at my wit’s end…I really really really want to be a better person and to make better life choices.
Blogging is selfish, as the act in itself is a demand to pay attention to often irrelevant personal thoughts. I don’t care who reads this, this is really for myself. It doesn’t take up space on my hardrive and it’s harder to lose than a journal made of paper.
I am trying to eat healthier and exercise more, I want to obsess less, and go online less. I am really trying to make a transformation and hope to form better relationships with others and to grow to respect myself more. I CAN do this on my own and am strong; I just need to remember that. I also will remember why I am hurt, how to avoid being hurt if I can help that, and to recognize unhealthy patterns so I can stop hurting myself. Relationships sometimes end or don’t go as expected; it is essential to realize the ones worth keeping and to let go of the ones holding me back. I can’t expect constant pity or sympathy and need to focus on the power I have to grow and flower. I am aware I sound like a character in a Judy Blume teen novel.
My cat just almost threw up. Then she burped.
